Some of you might have noticed Stefanie's comment to my post about Chase. She talked about a song, "How He Loves Us" and linked to a video where the song's writer shared his back story.
This song has been one of the most important in my life these last few years, and I was vaguely aware of the story behind it -- but I hadn't seen the video Stefanie shared before. And it made my heart cry, "YES, YES, YES!!"
This is my Jesus. Not one who takes babies "before their time." Not one who pushes earthquake buttons. Not one who is stoic and reserved, stronger than me and watching to see how I fail to measure up to His holiness standard. He weeps when I weep and mourns when I mourn. He gives me a light burden and an easy yoke. He carries me through the valley of the shadow of death. He loves me - when I'm angry, squirming, fighting against His arms. He loves me when I praise Him and He loves me when I question Him. He loves me when I accept His embrace, and when I don't, He pursues me all the more fiercely.
This week, He caught me. Like a sheep brought back to the fold, he has hemmed me in. I know I will wander again. I know I will question. I know I will resist. I know I will cry out in anger and frustration.
But even then, I know He will love me.
If you don't know this love -- not a pretty, nicely packaged Sunday School love where everything is beautiful and sunny all the time. But a love in the darkness. In the grime of life. In the snotty-nosed, dripping eyes of our most broken moments and our deepest agony. Well - I want you to know this love. I would love to talk with you about it, if you want... I want everyone to know this love.