A Few Things

Judah's in ICU tonight.  They've said the dismal words: heart failure.  We're trusting that he is safe in God's palm and that all will be well no matter what tomorrow brings.  And though his life is miracle enough, we're praying for another one.  Join us?

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I want to say thank you for your understanding, compassion, encouragement, and prayers after my last blog post.  I have to say, you are the most encouraging group of people ever.  I love you.  I've spent 5 minutes working on this next sentence, and still it escapes me.  This is the best I can do... Working in a world where loving sick, orphaned children is a daily reality forces me to confront more sorrow and suffering than I'd like to admit exists.  It hurts.  I can tolerate it for a while, but sometimes it crashes down.  Those last 2 blog posts were a crashing moment for me.  But, I'm going back up, and it will be OK.  There's a lot that helps it creep back up... meeting a wonderful family who is in China adopting their 7-year-old-daughter right now, the encouraging comments/emails/notes/etc. that you all sent me, and even the fact that Cora has recently started growling like a little lion and then dissolving into giggles.  It's adorable, and it's one of the many daily graces God gives to remind me that He has never left.

He is brighter than the darkness.

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And, Jacob and I are thrilled to announce that our first Scarlet Threads shipment is on its way to the states to be coming to a mailbox near you very, very soon.  A friend is serving as a courier, so they will be mailed very soon.  For those of you who missed your chance before, I'm posting a new stock to the shop, so you can get started shopping now!  Oh, and there are much better pictures now, thanks to my beautiful model friends.

And don't forget that we're having a giveaway right now!  Click on over to see how you can enter!

On a related note... Scarlet Threads has become all-consuming lately, so if you've emailed me and haven't heard back, give me a few days to catch up on my email.  I'm sorry.  The quantity of unanswered emails in my inbox slightly terrifies me.

Desperation

First of all - this is irrelevant to the post, but we're hosting our first Scarlet Threads giveaway, so go on over and check it out!

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I've been thinking more about what I wrote yesterday, and my heart is still heavy.

Today, my friend Caroline and I talked about this brokenness.  She reminded me of something that happened in April of 2008, and then she wrote more on her blog today.  In some ways, her thoughts are a continuation of my own... more food for thought and pleas for prayer.

Something struck me in the quiet moments of this morning as I was getting ready for my day...  Many of us often say that when there are no other options, abandonment in a public place where a child is sure to be discovered is an act of love.  And it is.  I often say that myself.

But even more deeply than that, it is an act of desperation.  

A level of desperation that I will probably never experience in my entire life.

I think that's what is grieving my heart right now...  Unlike you and me, these women have no choices.

And they never even get to know the answer to the most basic question... is my child alive or dead?

Taking Her Place

I'm sitting where another woman should.  And her absence makes me ache.

I see her shadow in the curve of his nose.  I hear her voice in the melody of his laughter.  Sweet Judah.

I wonder where she is right now, and if the emptiness in her arms is heavier than any other burden she might carry. My lap and my arms are full -- of wriggling baby, fresh life.  But for her, the stillness and silence must be unbearable.

It is a Father's redemption that brought him here, in response to the world's dark brokenness that tore him away.

There are 140 million orphans in the world today.  And behind that number are 140 million mothers.  140 women just like me.  I do not judge her.

I mourn for her; weep for her.  A mother's heart does not recover when she leaves part of it at an orphanage's gate, tightly bundled with a birthday note pinned to the front.

She is not the villain in this tragedy, but a victim in need of healing and hope.

My heart aches and words don't describe the sadness I feel.  I shouldn't be the one feeding him.  I shouldn't be the one learning how to make him smile.  I shouldn't be taking her place.  I can only cry out to Jesus, trusting that He can heal all of this brokenness.   

Father, be near to her I pray.

Scarlet Threads

We've had a busy launch week at Scarlet Threads.

First of all, you, my bloggy friends, are primarily the ONLY place we launched this, and you responded strong!  We sold a whole lot of aprons in our first week.  (At least, what I consider to be a whole lot, considering our marketing efforts were at a bare minimum.) 

And, we now have a "button" you can put on your blog, to help us with marketing.  See it there, over to the right?  Some of you have already mentioned our products on your blog (thank you!), but if you haven't, and you want to, we certainly won't complain.  :) 

We're still keeping things sort of small right now, just because we don't want a flood of orders that we can't possibly fill before Christmas.  But we haven't yet reached that limit, so if you want to buy a Christmas present with a unique heart, click on over.

Also, some of you have already submitted ideas for future products--like handmade dolls, table runners, child-sized aprons, potholders, etc., but if you have another brilliant idea, I'd love to hear about it!

Be Still My Heart

Lately, my favorite activity is to sneak over to the foster home for a few minutes every morning and every afternoon and snuggle with this sweetheart.  Cora has the greatest belly laugh.  And she loves to play peek-a-boo.  And she mimicks anything -- including clicking her tongue, waving bye-bye,  kissing, and blowing her cheeks up as big as she can.  I think she's sort of a thrill-seeker, because she loves anything that involves bouncing or tossing her in the air.  She seems to like that sinking feeling in her stomach.  I see roller coasters in her future.

Really, I'd be happy to spend a whole day just with her instead of doing any office work.  And if I weren't getting over a lingering cold, I'd be over there right now instead of staring at her cute little face in a picture.

Officially, she's a year old, but we think she might be a bit older since she has a mouthful of teeth.  She weighs about 15 pounds, so she's a petite little gal.  She needs heart surgery, but she's constantly fighting congestion in her lungs.  They won't do her surgery until her lungs are clear, but it's hard to get her lungs clear with a bad heart.  A vicious cycle... 

I know at least one of my blog friends is also partial to this doll, so I just thought I'd share this beautiful picture with you all.  I didn't take it, but I certainly don't mind looking at it!  :)

Controlling the Weather

Picture: Telegraph

Thanks to the government, Beijing had its first snow last Sunday.  We're supposed to get some more this week.  It was unseasonably early -- and a beautiful snow for a normally dry capital -- but the timing was a bit poor, IMHO, as the heat wasn't on.

One of the unusual things about living in China is that the heat in our homes (via radiators) is turned on and off according to an official calendar.  November 15th it comes on; March 15th it goes off.  This year, due to winter's early arrival, they started the heat a bit earlier (yesterday).  But it still hasn't warmed up yet, and the nights are dipping below freezing.

I'm not a fan of winter.  But, I have my eye set on February, and I think I can power through the next few months.  This is the only time of the year I really miss a car, as those 15 minute walks to work are brutal in sub-zero temps.  I really don't do winter well.

Woe is me.

Big Reveal

So I've been hinting at a new project that we've been working on for a few weeks.

Well, we're ready to reveal it!  It is still a work in progress, so this is our "soft opening."  (Sort of our testing ground and experimental period.)  If it goes well, we'll have a "grand opening" in a few weeks.

We want and need to stay small for at least a few weeks, until we work out some manufacturing details, so oddly enough, right now we don't want you to help us spread the word too much.  Don't worry, we'll shamelessly ask you to do that when we have the grand opening!

But as our friends and blog followers, you can be the first ones to explore our new little venture... Scarlet Threads.  We are open and ready for business!  (Hope you'll consider us for a source for some Christmas presents!)