She's going into the operating room right now.
And I admit that I can feel fear balling up in my stomach.
I don't want to fear. I want to trust. But the doctors used the word "slim chance," and they're talking about a little girl I've grown to love.
I confess I'm prone to listen to doctors more than God.
They've said that little Cora's lungs haven't improved in 2 months... they don't like operating under these conditions -- and almost didn't -- but they said that since they haven't improved, they won't improve without this much needed heart-surgery. In other words, she may not have much of a chance making it through the surgery/post-op, but she has zero chance if they don't at least try.
Wonderful odds, right? So I'm sitting here this morning, reminding myself that God loves her more than I do and that He will be there in the operating room this morning.
If only I could really live out what I posted the other day... an unwavering faith in God's presence with us, and trust in the absolute goodness and mercy and love and protection of God.
Will you pray with me? It's 8:41 am Beijing time, 6:41 pm on Monday night central time in the USA, and she went into the operating room about 5 minutes ago.
And on to a totally different subject.... Christmas.
For the first time since moving to China two years ago, I put up a Christmas tree. And I'm so glad I did. The warm glow from the lights really make it feel like home. It's funny how this little apartment has become our haven and restoration spot. I never imagined it could when we first moved in two years ago... but it has become a place of warmth and comfort. I'm thankful for it.
For the tree, I made some of my ornaments. I learned to make origami cranes, and folded a whole bunch of red and green ones for the tree. And, I used Tibetan scarves to put around the base of the tree. I like it; it feels like my tree. I borrowed the tree from another foreign family who didn't want it this year, and I spent less than $10 on the rest of the ornaments! So we get "warm holiday fuzzy feelings" without much of a pricetag. Jacob suggested putting the tree in the window so that people outside could see it... it's one of the only Christmas trees in town, so it might seem like an odd novelty to some of our neighbors, but a few have commented on it! They like it... and it makes me happy that they're happy. Ahh... the warm fuzzies abound.
And last night I had a craving for sugar cookies. (Can you tell I have the Christmas spirit?) I whipped up a batch and ate dinner while the dough was chilling. Then, I ran across the hall to get my next door neighbor/foster home resident Catherine. She's 9 years old, and as you might be able to tell from her coloring, waiting for a much-needed heart surgery. She might be going into the hospital this week, so I thought this would be a fun treat. (Click on the pics to see them enlarged.)
It was her first time to make sugar cookies, but she caught on so quick! Before long she was rolling out the dough and cutting them all by herself. And her smile! It was priceless! The best part was the first time she pushed the cutter through the dough and lifted it up. When she pulled up a perfectly-shaped Christmas tree, she let out an audible gasp. Adorable! I think one of her favorite parts was giving Jacob cookies. He did a great job of making a big deal about what a wonderful cook she was, and she was beaming! (And kept wanting him to eat more. Not that he minded indulging.)
She's a weak little girl. Making sugar cookies wore her out. Seriously. We contrived a special seat in our kitchen with a chair and a pot and a pillow so that she could sit and make them at the same time. That helped a little, but the exertion of rolling dough and cutting the cookies left her breathless. She's a bit like Cora -- her heart condition is critical, and surgery is dangerous... but without it, well that future isn't bright either.
I realize this post is all over the place. But to be honest, that's how our lives are. There are sugar-cookie-baking highs and scary surgery lows. Up - down - up - down. On we go.
Oh, and just because I can't resist. We are half-way through Mr. December's 31 days in the spotlight! Jacob's been told more than once this month that his picture is hanging in someones house! I think it is great fun. And why let a 3-year-old joke die now? I get at least one more month of mileage out of it.